So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i've created a new STD.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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