I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
