if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
