I cockslap morals
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
