please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
