its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
