We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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