The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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