i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
