All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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