you mean i was at the winter classic?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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