Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
