I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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