I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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