I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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