Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
