In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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