Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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