I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
