maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My pussy is not your playground.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
