A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
