why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
