Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
