he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
