That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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