dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
no you cant smoke seaweed
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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