hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
