you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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