it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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