Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
