So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
