i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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