I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize