no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
