Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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