I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
