Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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