Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
