What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm like, not good at living.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
