you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
