I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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