dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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