Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Farmville is her only friend.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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