He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
