you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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