just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize