please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
