I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
