um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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