I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize