Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
