No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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