its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
