Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
