Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
