so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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