dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
