Im at strip club and am horny
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
