How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
