Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize