have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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