And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
