I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
