oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
