the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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