Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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