What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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